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I woke up around noon and decided to skip my antidepressants because they keep me awake for a while. Jokes on me I guess because it’s 4:00am now and I’m still awake.

I worked on my novel some, trying to apply what I’ve learned about writing from YouTube videos. It took a couple of false starts before I could get going. Writing is partly a mental game where I have to outwit my executive dysfunction and trick myself into getting started. The time has to be right, late in the evening with fewer distractions. Some tea and downtime to get in the mood. And if everything goes well, I write.

It took longer than usual today because I didn’t take my meds. I did finally manage to sit down and do it very late into the night. And you know what? It wasn’t very good. I knew it wasn’t good while I was writing it. I had hoped maybe I would feel different by the end of it. But my initial appraisal was correct. I had written a dud scene. So it’s off to trash bin for that one.

If nothing else, I learned what not to do and I can try better tomorrow night. Good things take time, after all.